Stress/Tears:Pushing Through January Blues

Something about January always brings me down.

Coming off of Christmas break is difficult, especially when going back to school. But it’s also the lack of sunlight, gloomy weather, and my emotions, that bring me down. This month of my Urban Ministry class, we have been studying mental health and intervention tactics. I would never self-diagnose myself with depression but I know I have run-ins with seasonal depression. Whatever the cause, I feel low in the month of January. This year, however, has been a lot more emotional; lots of stress and tears.

It has caused me to have some writer’s block, which sucks.

But here I am, trying to write and push through all the build-up that has been making it difficult.

Writing is my outlet, I do it to help process things and put feelings into words. As a visual learner/thinker, words help me visualize feelings because I can see them. Over the years I have learned to write better and more frequently because I love it. It has also expanded my vocabulary, ways of thinking and bettered my self-awareness.

I have realized how much my feelings either sink me or allow me to swim.

I am on the ocean of life, sailing towards the sun. The Lord is my guide and I am not able to sink fully because he saves me before I drown. In the last few months, I have faced things I never thought I would and I have felt like the waves have overtaken me. Thankfully God is my refuge and I have found rest in his presence, even if I feel defeated and unable to go on.

Jesus never promised an easy life.

John 16:33 – I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Psalm 34:19 – Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all.

In these days of seemingly unending winter, take heart. Because those of us who are in Christ can find rest in our Savior. And hope for a brighter future.

1 Peter 5:6-10 – Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

 

Eyes that See & Ears that Hear

Praying for God’s wisdom can grant you a deeper understanding of him and the world around you. James 4:8 says that when we draw near to God, he will draw near to us. In the last few years, I have prayed more specifically for God to grow me in different areas of my life. Such as my confidence in myself, the way I love others and how I could be better equipped for the future he has for me.

Out of that, God has granted me wisdom and understanding; “having eyes to see and ears to hear”. Jesus makes reference to this in the Gospels, but it is also mentioned in Revelations and other parts of the Bible. I am not an expert on this or know all the theological significance, but I know it has to do with the work of the Holy Spirit in your life. You receive the Holy Spirit when you confess your sins and identify your need for Christ as your Savior. Putting your faith in Christ, and allowing his light to shine through the darkness in your life, has many blessings. The Holy Spirit is a gift from God, because of the faith you put in Jesus. The Holy Spirit is the defining power force behind being a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:16-18) and with being born of the spirit (John 3:5-6). There are many more truths that could be covered about the Holy Spirit. Romans 8 and Acts 1-2, as well as many other passages, can be studied in order to understand further.

Jesus said that “The Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything and make you remember all that I have told you.” (John 14:26)

He is described as our helper but he is also our teacher. When we read scripture, the Holy Spirit is interpreting and showing us the truth of God’s written word. This is mentioned in John 16, when Jesus is explaining the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. He says in verse 13 that the HS will “guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come,” meaning that the Holy Spirit interprets the wisdom and truth that comes from the Father.

The Holy Spirit is part of our Triune God. God is one in three persons; the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. This is a significant part of believing in God. Each fills a role and are equally different but equally connected.

All this to say, having eyes that see and ears that hear is a blessing. It allows me to see the truth spoken in a sermon or grants me understanding in how to handle situations. This wisdom is from God and not from my own thinking. God receives all the glory when I am able to understand his truths and when he uses me to speak his truth to others.

Even though I have always viewed having eyes to see as a blessing, lately I have begun to see the weight that it brings. Being able to see and understand God’s truth means that I am going to be held accountable. When you have eyes to see, you cannot choose to be blind to the truth. We cannot pick and choose to be open to some truth, while acting like we didn’t see the truth that hurts us. Integrity is something that comes out of actively choosing to live a life that glorifies God. The goal is to walk with Christ daily and surrender more and more of ourselves. It’s a journey that involves many obstacles but it is through God’s grace that we make it through. His power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

I have been overwhelmed by the struggles in my life and this pressure to live up to God’s truth has been adding to it. The standard God has set is completely valid considering it is entirely for our benefit. He doesn’t want us to live in the darkness of our old sinfulness. In my revelations, I have also been crushed by God’s love for me. The depth of grace God grants us is unending. I am WEAK but he is STRONG.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.” (Romans 8:1-2)

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)